I am at my absolute wits end. I have applied for literally nearly 100 jobs since being in London and nothing. Am I really that awful? So awful I don’t even deserve a reply? I mean my C.V. can’t be that bad, the job centre saw it and said it was good. On top of all that the only money coming in is from my partners benefits and I can’t get job seekers allowance because he is on benefits. His money is only supposed to be for him but because Job seekers looks at household income rather than singular income they count his money as being for me as well. They told me to sign on at the job centre to get National Insurance Contributions and that eventually I would get paid. Well that was about 6-7 months ago and still nothing.
On Saturday a letter came from the job centre saying I missed an interview with an employer and because I did it would affect my claim/national insurance contributions, yet I have no record of an interview being arranged and on Monday when I tried to call the company that I was supposed to have this interview with, they were so rude to me, my partner and his mum who is our landlady. They said that they don’t keep any records at all of interviews and they can’t access files because the person to contact was away. They then said that all interviews are arranged by the job centre and myself. And then they hung up on us 5 times. So I had that playing on my mind all weekend, it got kinda sorted out today but it still doesn’t solve the “I really need income” problem. It’s getting to the point where we can’t really do anything because we’re saving what little money we get so we can get stuff for ourselves. And next year our landlady is moving house to a smaller house so we have to find somewhere to live and the money for it.
I’m 19 years old and i’ve already jumped into problems that people in their 30’s have. I’d like to think i’ve coped pretty well with the impending doom of possibly being homeless and broke for the last 7 months. I don’t know how much longer it can go on for. I’m so tired and i’m becoming more and more ill due to the stress and it’s bringing back the depression that I worked so hard last year to overcome. My other half has been supportive but he’s also getting stressed and ill and bottom line I feel like it’s all my fault. Before I moved here he just had himself to deal with and since i’ve been here it’s just caused a shit load of problems. But has it been worth it? Or more to the fact, am I worth the shit i’ve put people through? I don’t think I am and I need help with that.
I’m sorry I just needed to get some things off my chest.